I had another birthday, skipped last year, it was a very difficult year, too sad and miserable to record,this year is better

I daily read or rehearse my Contract "I am a Joyful Loving, discerning Being of Light." And my creation statement. Through my love and discernment, I work with God to create connections of light and spiritual healing to those who desire it somewhere in their soul.
Annual Revision

I pray morning and night and through the day for discernment and communication with myself and God regarding my tasks of the day, my goals and gratitude, for those I love and projects my soul is working on.
I clear my chakras morning and night through quiet meditation and movement (in the form of Yoga and or exercise.)

I am present in my day, I focus on my purpose and desires and others in my sphere of love and influence.

I am honest in my actions and words.

I am sensitive to the spirit and souls of others.

I speak truth lovingly and know some truths are for me only. I know the difference.I know when to speak up and when to be still.

I use what God has given me to use and allow excess to be for others, in time, talent, substance.

I am able to pay my bills.

I live comfortably.

I am in loving connected, open and honest relationships with many people.

I keep confidences.

I allow others their agency and choice free of judgment.

I focus on my life and listen to others when they want to share.

I speak only about matters that uplift or cause forward movement.

I am accountable.

I have a job that provides me with income to live on this earth and have freedom to do my life purpose.

I have time and energy to pursue and create new interests

I pursue and create and am involved in new interests and become accomplished.

I am a very talented watercolorist and enjoy creating pictures and learning more each day.

i sketch things and people that bring happiness or express my feelings

I am a Hospice Certified Nurse and now am a Hospice Certified Administrator.

 I love Family History and am thinking of a tattoo that has my story in it, continue learning about essential oils and their effects on healing, pranic (energy) healing and uses, Thai Yoga Massage, preparedness, camping, Healthy eating, herb uses and gardening, connecting with others and learning from them about these interests and associated ones, (I just met a nurse from Austrailia and plan to follow that connection to something, I connected with Joyce Simard and created Namaste Care Program for Bristol Hospice based on her work and book, she was here for the last two days).I teach others Namaste Care.

I consciously teach my children Especially Eryn about truths and joyful ways to live.

I spend time with Eryn on school work and spiritual education.

I read to Eryn and listen to her read.I give Eryn opportunities to develop her talents I notice what gives her joy and direct her along the way.

I am caught up on my taxes and financially free.

I have enough cash to purchase a car and a house

I have a husband who loves me very much and I love him, we are happy and connected and share many interests and assist each other to grow with love in all ways.

I am financially free and live within my means

I find peace in my relationship with Mark.

I take care of my physical and spiritual health

I have a car that is mechanically sound and serves me in my current situation.

I tap into ways to connect with those who desire what I have to give them and they desire to share with me.

I share the gospel with many that I recognize through prayer and discernment who are ready and invite them into my home and the missionaries teach them.

I receive daily revelation about my life, I am open to see the truth about my life each day and adjust it to the path that will take me to my Father in Heaven again.

I am guided and directed each day.

Eryn's direction and upbringing is a priority.

Angels guide and protect me and I notice them often.

I eat healthy food and am worthy of its provision.

I am worthy of being loved and honored and respected by a husband who is so happy to be with me and I with him.  Our lives work well together and we both give to the relationship in all ways.  

I have claim on the earth and heaven for provision of my sustenance and family's sustenance.

My relationship with Mark continues to move forward in a way that is beneficial to me, him and our families.

I continue relationships with those of like minds and hearts who assist me and me them in any way.

I clear my space of old energy that doesn't serve me.

I have an open clean space to work in.

My home is open and clean and full of light.

I radiate light and peace.

I feel love from others and give love daily.

Daily I gratefully notice blessings.

My mind is clear and I clear my surroundings.

I teach others to love themselves

I love myself

I heal by loving.

I am patient.

My sphere of influence for good and love and caring expands daily

I am a regional supervisor and able to live anywhere that I want to live.

I find many opportunities that are financially secure and profitable for all and others enjoy assisting me along the way and also benefit with me and my family and friends. 

I am supported by my loved ones.

I support my loved ones in their endeavors and desires 

I feel God's love always.

My grandchildren know me and remember how they feel loved around me even when I am not there.

I attract prosperity in any business I am part of and I benefit from the prosperity and I bless peoples lives with it.

I attend the temple regularly and am actively participating in Family history

I inspire and assist many young women to repent and forgive and gain testimonies

I attract loving and creative and honest and talented employees.  We create a loving and healing environment to work in and do much good in the community for others.

Revision Time Again

I daily read or rehearse my Contract "I am a Joyful Loving, discerning Being of Light." And my creation statement. Through my love and discernment, I work with God to create connections of light and spiritual healing to those who desire it somewhere in their soul.

August 17, 2011 It is time again to read and revise my affirmations.

I clear my chakras morning and night through quiet meditation and movement (in the form of Yoga and or exercise.)

I pray morning and night and through the day for discernment and communication with myself and God regarding my tasks of the day.

I am present in my day, I focus on my purpose and desires.

I am honest in my actions and words.

I am sensitive to the spirits of others.

I speak truth lovingly and know some truths are for me only. I know the difference.I know when to speak up and when to be still.

I use what God has given me to use and allow excess to be for others, in time, talent, substance.

I am able to pay my bills.

I live comfortably.

I am in loving connected, open and honest relationships with many people.

I keep confidences.

I allow others their agency and choice free of judgment.

I focus on my life and listen to others when they want to share.

I speak only about matters that uplift or cause forward movement.

I am accountable.

I have a job that provides me with income to live on this earth and have freedom to do my life purpose.

I have time to pursue and create new interests.

I have become Hospice Certified Nurse and now will become a Hospice Certified Administrator. I love Family History and am thinking of a tatto that has my story in it, learning the Hula, learning lomi lomi massage, (not real committed to this one) continue learning about essential oils and their effects on healing, pranic (energy) healing and uses, Thai Yoga Massage, preparedness, camping, Healthy eating, herb uses and gardening, connecting with others and learning from them about these interests and associated ones, (I just met a nurse from Austrailia and plan to follow that connection to something, I connected with Joyce Simard and created Namaste Care Program for Bristol Hospice based on her work and book, she was here for the last two days).

I consciously teach my children Especially Eryn about truths and joyful ways to live.

I spend time with Eryn on school work and spiritual education.

I read to Eryn and listen to her read.I give Eryn opportunities to develop her talents I notice what gives her joy and direct her along the way.

My home in South Jordan forclosed and I joyfully release it and the banks release me

I am financially free and live within my means

Sallie Mae releases me from financial obligation and accepts my offer to settle the debt

I am able to invest money from the Sale of Love Health Care in something that will bless me and my family now and for a long time such as an investment home, or a business bringing Arenga palm sugar to those whose health will benefit from it and have a healthy business doing so.

I find peace in my relationship with Mark.

I live in a comfortable house in Hawaii with loving family and friends

I take care of my physical and spiritual health

I have a car that is mechanically sound and serves me in my current situation.

I tap into ways to connect with those who desire what I have to give them and they desire to share with me.

I am guided and directed each day.

Eryn's direction and upbringing is a priority.

Angels guide and protect me and I notice them often.

I eat healthy food and am worthy of its provision.

I have claim on the earth and heaven for provision of my sustenance and family's sustenance.

My relationship with Mark continues to move forward in a way that is beneficial to me, him and our families.

I continue relationships with those of like minds and hearts who assist me and me them in any way.

I clear my space of old energy that doesn't serve me.

I have an open clean space to work in.

My home is open and clean and full of light.

I radiate light and peace.

I feel love from others and give love daily.

Daily I gratefully notice blessings.

My mind is clear and I clear my surroundings.

I am at peace with Desert Sage Healing Arts being complete in its purpose.

I teach others to love themselves

I love myself

I heal by loving.

I find many opportunities that are financially secure and profitable for all and others enjoy assisting me along the way and also benefit with me and my family and friends.

I am supported by my loved ones.

I support my loved ones in their endeavors and desires

I feel God's love always.

My grandchildren know me and remember how they feel loved around me even when I am not there.

I attract prosperity in any business I am part of and I benefit from the prosperity and I bless peoples lives with it.

A Dream I had

2 nights ago I woke up with a dream in my head. I was contemplating cutting my hair, Mark was by my side. I told him I needed to cut off the damaged part, from where it had been dyed 3 years ago. I pulled it in front of me and looked at it. The ends became brittle and fell off when we touched it.

Mark went somewhere and I was in a room when Michelle (his ex) walked in. She was intent on talking to me and said, Come with me, I have something that will save your life. But I knew by her intent and energy, that she was going to do something harmful to me. I sensed she was going to stab me in my back and kill me. I searched my mind for something to say or do. I suddenly knew what to do. I said, No Michelle, I have something for you and me that will save both our lives. I walked toward her and she said, What? I told her it was love. I loved her very much, she started crying and we embraced. She said you are so hard to love, but I love you too. And I said you are hard to love also, yet by loving each other, our lives are saved. There was a shift of energy in the area. Then Mark walked in and looked at us, he warily asked what was happening. Michelle put her arm out to Mark and said, Brenda is saving out lives. He came closer to her and she put her arm loosely around his waist and we stood there, then I woke up.

Moving to Hawaii

February 24, 2011

I am moving to Honolulu Hawaii. I accepted an Executive Director Position for Bristol Hospice and after I did, I saw in my minds eye, a beautiful picture open before me. I saw that it was being prepared for a long while and many things came into focus for me. I will miss moving from my friends at work, I love my job in Salt Lake City. I will miss my sisters, especially Beth whom I live with. She is my life savor, really. I will miss Mark. I love Mark very much. I don't quite know why it will take so long for me to really be with him for good. He is my soul mate, the twin flame kind. There is a love that I don't quite understand, but feel. He wants to finish massage therapy school and he has his business here in Bountiful. He sees his options as staying here for now. We are going to experience a distance relationship. I think it is best, even though extremely hard. He is working on finding out who he is. His dad left his family when he was 15 and he shut down, then he met Michelle when he was 17 and has been with her almost exclusively ever since. He is pulling away from her and their divorce is signed, but he still gives much of his power to her. It is a process and it takes as long as it takes. Neither of us thinks its a good idea to force it. His children get to have him right now and he gets to find out what he wants in life. I really love him, enough to allow it all. And the nice thing is I love myself enough to accept this opportunity presented to me and take it and move to Hawaii on my next adventure. I feel tugging behind me and connection in front of me.

Mark is fixing a Subaru legacy wagon for me, putting a new engine in it and I will be shipping it to Hawaii. I am shipping my bicycles and clothes and a few other items. Eryn will join me when school is out. I will see if I can fly back for the end of school and pick her up. I will hook up with church in Hawaii, I will start to visit with my bishop there, sometime I will figure it all out. I am trusting and know all is well for me and my family. Paul and Rinda are having a baby in September, so far so good. I will miss Mason, he is such a sweet heart. I wish I could take him with me. Laurie will grow while I am gone, she will have Mark and Kim and Beth and Wally.

I will make new friends. I am already connecting with the people there in the office and working with Leila and the CAS team. Transition.

November 2010

This month I moved in with Beth and Wally. Actually Eryn, me and Kameron did. I am blessed to have such good family. I am saving to pay off my debtors, settle with them. I listed my home as a short sale and had a cash buyer with all the information in to the bank, Nationstar Mortgage. They foreclosed anyway. I got a few weeks to move out and they have the home up for sale. I don't think they will get what the buyer offered. If they come to me for the balance, I will get the information from the relator's and get an attorney. Now I will focus on rebuilding my life. No car, no home, gave away and got rid of and stored my "stuff". It is all stuff and when we die, someone has to take care of it or dispose of it. My cousin's son died, 25 in an airplane crash. Very sad, I attended the memorial in Provo tonight.

I went to church again today, all the meetings. It is difficult to go. People are sweet and kind, but I don't feel like I fit in. Our church is for families. I am part of a family, but I am a divorced woman, 4 times. I really don't want people to have that experience, but they say the most interesting things and sometimes, I want to stand up in church and say, "Can you tell me really where it says that in the scriptures?" But I sit and be silent, and know that they just don't understand. And there are promises made, and my experience is that they are not all true. Yet my life is not over, maybe they are but I don't get it. Something keeps me going, my belief that Jesus Christ is my Savior.

Goodnight.

Brenda

Annual Revision of Affirmations

May 16, 2010

I daily read or rehearse my Contract and I am revamping my Creation Statement. (The old one doesn't work all the way for me anymore because I have grown)

I clear my chakras morning and night through quiet meditation and movement (in the form of Yoga and or exercise.)

I pray morning and night and through the day for discernment and communication with myself and God regarding my tasks of the day.

I am present in my tasks.

I am honest in my actions and words.

I am sensitive to the spirits of others.

I speak truth lovingly and know some truths are for me only.

I know the difference.

I know when to speak up and when to be still.

I use what God has given me to use and allow excess to be for others, in time, talent, substance.

I am able to pay my bills.

I live comfortably.

I am in loving connected, open and honest relationships with many people.

I keep confidences.

I allow others their agency and choice free of judgment.

I focus on my life and listen to others when they want to share.

I speak only about matters that uplift or cause forward movement.

I am accountable.

I have a job that provides me with income to live on this earth and have freedom to do my life purpose.

I have time to pursue and create new interests.

Currently these interests are: Family History, becoming Hospice Certified, writing a book, essential oils and their effects on healing, pranic (energy) healing and uses, Thai Yoga Massage, preparedness, camping, Healthy eating, herb uses and gardening, connecting with others and learning from them about these interests and associated ones.

I consciously teach my children

Especially Eryn about truths and joyful ways to live.

I spend time with Eryn on school work and spiritual education.

I read to Eryn and listen to her read.

I give Eryn opportunities to develop her talents

I notice what gives her joy and direct her along the way.

My home in South Jordan sells and the banks agree with the terms of a short sale and release the house and me.

I find a simple place to live.

I am living with less than I make.

My car sells and I have a car that is mechanically sound and serves me in my current situation.

I tap into ways to connect with those who desire what I have.

I am guided and directed each day.

Eryn's direction and upbringing is a priority.

I eat healthy food and am worthy of its provision.

I have claim on the earth and heaven for provision of my sustenance and family's sustenance.

My relationship with Mark and Michelle moves forward in a loving way that is beneficial to us all.

I continue relationships with those of like minds and hearts who assist me and me them in any way.

I clear my space of old energy that doesn't serve me.

I have an open clean space to work in.

My home is open and clean and full of light.

I radiate light and peace.

I feel love from others and give love daily.

Daily I gratefully notice blessings.

My mind is clear and I clear my surroundings.

Desert Sage Healing Arts continues in some type of venue to serve others and share information.

I teach others to love themselves

I love myself

I heal by loving.

I am a Certified Hospice Nurse.

Brenda's beginning blog

About a year ago, I was in a lot of transition. I really didn't know where I was going or what I wanted to do, I had some ideas floating around inside of me, but no real direction. My life had taken a big turn and I had an opportunity to make many more choices than I was used to making.

With the assistance of my dear sister Beth, I sat down one day and wrote, using tools I had gained from trainings through church, (The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints), and life coaching, (Kim Smart), and group experiential trainings, (Great Life) and (The Experience Training). I also tapped into my core self and let myself speak to me. Here is what came out then, and today I am updating it because some of my desires have changed. That is the beauty of life, it changes as we grow and learn lessons that are always there for us to learn. I am never complete.

February 2009

I daily read or rehearse my Contract and Creation Statement.

I clear my chakras morning and night through quiet meditation and movement (in the form of Yoga and or exercise.)

I pray morning and night and through the day for discernment and communication with myself and God regarding my tasks of the day.

I am present in my tasks.

I am honest in my actions and words.

I am sensitive to spirits of others and their needs.

I speak truth lovingly and know some truths are for me only.

I know the difference.

I know when to speak up and when to be still.

I use what God has given me to use and allow excess to be for others, in time, talent, substance.

I am able to pay my bills.

I live comfortably.

I am in a loving connected, open and honest relationship.

I keep confidences.

I allow others their agency and choice free of judgment.

I ask permission to get into others lives.

I speak only about matters that uplift or cause forward movement.

I am accountable

I have a job that provides me with income to live on this earth and have freedom to do my life purpose.

I have time to pursue and create new interests.

Currently these interests are building a network and community for those on their path to improving their life.

I consciously teach my children

Especially Eryn about truths and joyful ways to live.

I spend time with Eryn on school work and spiritual education.

I read to Eryn and listen to her read.

I give Eryn opportunities to develop her talents

I notice what gives her joy and direct her along the way.

I have a deadline for taking a job.

A job will come my way this week that meets the above requirements.

I stay in my home in South Jordan for now with financial ease.

Clients come to me for healing.

I tap into ways to connect with those who desire what I have.

I am guided and directed each day.

Eryn's direction and upbringing is a priority.

I eat healthy food and am worthy of its provision.

I have claim on the earth and heaven for provision of my sustenance and family's sustenance.

My relationship with Mark moves forward in a loving connected way.

I tie up loose ends and complete my tasks with Love Healthcare.

I have joyful loving memories of time there.

I continue relationships with those of like minds and hearts who assist me and me them in any way.

I clear my space of old energy that doesn't serve me.

I have an open clean space to work in.

My home is open and clean and full of light.

I radiate light and peace.

I feel love from others and give love daily.

Daily I notice with gratitude blessings.

My mind is clear and I clear my surroundings.

Desert Sage Healing Arts flourishes and reaches many who are searching and provides connections

I teach others to love themselves

I love myself

I heal by teaching others to love themselves.